5 Tips on maintaining a healthy sex life with your partner after the birth of a baby:
1. Don’t start having sex again until you are ready. Wait for the doctor’s go ahead, of course, but even after that, it is common for some women to still not feel ready to jump right back into the sack. One or both of you might be exhausted and she might still be a little tender.
2. Do other things to stay connected. Just because she may not be ready to have sex does not mean the cuddles should stop. Make time for each other to help keep the emotional connection strong. This will help take that sexual edge off and might help to put her in the mood when her body is ready for sex.
3. Explore each other’s body all over again. After having a baby, things change! The techniques that used to get her off, may no longer work. If she is breast feeding, her nipples might be sore and no longer erogenous. Her genitals have also changed, she might be more sensitive or even less sensitive depending on how her body reacted to the birth. A good foot massage can go along way!
4. Help her with household chores. Many women find it to be a turn on when a man does things like the dishes, or vacuums. Seeing you help out with the baby may also be a turn on. What definitely won’t turn her on is if she is still having to do a lot around the house, get up in the middle of night several times, be the only one changing diapers, so on and so forth. So get in there and help her out!
5. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Holding on to your frustration and resentment at not being able to have sex as regularly as you used to is not going to help. Talk about things with her in an open and honest way and see if the two of you can work something out. And for women, if you aren’t in the mood or you are sore, let him know what is going on with your body. Again this will help with staying emotionally connected, which often helps maintain healthy sexuality as well.
If you have any further questions about this topic or to schedule a session with one of our clinicians, please CONTACT US.
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