Relationship Resiliency During Deployment
By Dr. Viviana Coles | Houston Relationship Therapy
Deployment can challenge even the strongest relationships. Physical distance, emotional strain, and unpredictable schedules can leave couples feeling disconnected and unsure of how to stay close. In a recent episode of the Sword and Shield Podcast, I had the opportunity to talk about something I’m passionate about helping couples build: relationship resiliency during deployment.
What Is Relationship Resiliency?
Relationship resiliency is the ability to stay emotionally connected, work through conflict, and maintain trust—especially during difficult times. When one partner is deployed, the usual routines and in-person moments that hold a relationship together are no longer available. That’s why couples need strategies that go beyond just staying in touch.
Key Strategies We Discussed
Here are three of the biggest takeaways from my conversation with the Sword and Shield hosts:
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Create a Pre-Deployment Plan
Talk about expectations before deployment begins. Discuss how often you’ll communicate, how you’ll handle disagreements from afar, and how each partner can feel supported while apart. -
Embrace Emotional Check-Ins
Whether it’s via letters, text, or video calls, use open-ended questions like “What’s been the hardest part of your day?” or “What are you most looking forward to?” These help deepen emotional intimacy, even across long distances. -
Focus on Future Goals Together
Having shared goals—like planning a trip, building a savings fund, or outlining post-deployment dreams—keeps you emotionally aligned and gives both partners something to look forward to.
Final Thoughts
Deployment doesn’t have to weaken your bond. With the right tools and mindset, couples can come out stronger than ever. If you or someone you know is preparing for deployment, I encourage you to schedule a session with a licensed couples therapist who understands the unique challenges of military life.
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Listen to the full episode here
Hosted by Frances Martinez, 960th Cyberspace Wing director of psychological health, discusses maintaining resilient relationships during deployments and other challenging times with Dr. Viviana Coles, a licensed marriage and family therapist, at Joint Base San Antonio-Chapman Training Annex, Texas, June 6 2022. Dr. Coles runs a private practice in Houston. (U.S. Air Force audio by Kristian Carter)
