Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling
As a therapist, I am well aware of the stigma that comes along with seeking counseling or therapy. I think one obstacle of pre-marital therapy is the fear that if you have to seek counseling, maybe your relationship is already in trouble. If you’re in love and getting married, shouldn’t it just work out? Shouldn’t you already know each other? I want to debunk some of those beliefs and talk about the benefits of seeking a pre-marital therapist.
- Pre-marital counseling can help you and your partner discuss each other’s expectations for marriage. As people, we tend to assume what we expect is what our partners expect. It’s not always the case.
- Pre-marital counseling gives you the opportunity to discuss family of origin beliefs about marriage and how they have affected you and your partner’s beliefs about marriage.
- Pre-marital counseling provides you the opportunity to discuss what you find most important about marriage, whether it be passion, intimacy or commitment.
- Pre-marital counseling allows you to discuss the possible future pitfalls that many marriages face down the line- hot button issues, such as sex, money, spirituality.
- Pre-marital counseling helps with communication.
- Pre-marital counseling provides an avenue for self-discovery and deeper understanding of yourself and your partner.
- Pre-marital counseling helps you discover ways to work through conflict in healthy, productive ways.
- Pre-marital counseling gives you a safe place to discuss hard to tackle topics with an experienced counselor. There will most likely be topics and discussions that you never thought to have with your partner.
These are just a few of the benefits of pre-marital counseling. I was curious to know the general public’s outlook on pre-marital counseling, so I conducted an informal survey on Facebook. Here are some of the answers I received regarding Pre-Marital Counseling (identities of people responding are left off to protect identity):
“We didn’t and I really wish we would have! I wish it was more common and just expected.”
“We didn’t do any counseling before getting married. I think it would have helped our first few years of marriage. They were hard learning years.”
“We did not. However, I think it would have been beneficial to have more insight before we were married rather than having to figure it out over the first few years of marriage.”
“We were required to do so, Catholic Church. But I do strongly believe that its part of the commitment you are making to each other, and it definitely helps.”
“We did a premarital class at our church before we got married. I highly recommend it for anyone thinking of getting married.”
“We did it through our church and I really liked it. Just makes you discuss things you may not have previously thought to discuss. It made me more convinced that we were on the same page about some bigger topics.”
The reason I bring these quotes up is to show two things: 1. People who are married and didn’t do it, wish they would have, and 2. People who did do it, found it helpful.
Our Get it Right Premarital Program© at TRT is recognized by the state of Texas and is accepted by most churches. We offer faith-based or secular counseling. We also have pre-marital program tailored for same sex couples. Call us today for more information, and shatter the stigma of pre-marital counseling. It works, and it’s fun!