Do you feel disconnected from your partner even though you know there is love in your relationship? Do you feel like there is something missing in your relationship, but not sure what that thing is? Here are some steps and pointers you and your partner can try to rejuvenate and enhance your relationship.
- Date each other – I encourage that you and your partner alternate planning a date. Along with building connection, planning a date for your significant other may take you back to the feelings of the courting phase of your relationship. Think of activities or places you and your partner would like to do or visit, leave the details to a minimum when preparing your partner for the shared activities. Of course, make sure your partner knows information such as: the appropriate attire or things to bring along. Remember, a date is about the experience and shared memories that you make with your partner. If the date does not go as planned don’t sweat it!
- Daily dose of 10 minutes face to face time – With how easily accessible technology is to us now, spending time with your partner without distractions may be tricky. I encourage couples to spend at least 10 minutes daily without their phones, televisions on, tablets, etc., maintain eye contact, and connect about their day. Make sure you and your partner choose a time with minimal distractions- after chores are completed and if you have kiddos that they are asleep. Having a daily ritual with your partner may continue to bond you further and help build accountability to one another.
- Take some time to learn more about each other – Often times, we may love our partner the way we want to be loved, which may be different for our partner. Ask your partner to list the top 5 things that you do for them which makes them feel loved, valued, and respected. You may be surprised with what they come up with! In my experience, this tends to be especially true for those couples who have had many years together. This could be due to the growth that has happened for them individually and in the relationship over the years. Once you have this information use it, use it use it! YOUR PARTNER JUST GAVE YOU GOLD!
- Acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge – Did I say that enough? Let your partner know when you notice them loving you in the way you asked them, as well as other efforts they put towards your relationship. This will give your partner positive feedback and direction for the relationship, which often times will motivate them to keep on keepin’ on.
- Setting the stage for quality sex – Your efforts in building emotional intimacy will set the stage for quality sex in your relationship. The activities listed are just a few ways to do this. Conversations, shared memories and experiences, affection, and quality time are other examples of ways to focus on each other and enhance trust and bonding in your relationship.
My hope is for this to start a conversation in your relationship. I encourage you to tailor the information as you see fit for your own relationship, as these are only some ideas that may help to rejuvenate your relationship. While exploring more with you partner, remember to think about experiences that will allow for you and your partner to focus on each other.
If you have any further questions about this topic or to schedule a session with one of our clinicians, please CONTACT US.
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