We all have a visual of what a happy couple looks like, but these images are not always true. I would like to share three statements that a lot of us use to describe a happy couple and explain why they are myths. Enjoy!
1. My partner should know what makes me upset or what has made me upset in an argument.
Time and time again I hear couples expect this from each other, especially those couples who have a long history together. The truth is none of us are mind readers. Also, there are so many factors that can contribute to our mood. This makes it very difficult for us to just know what affects our partner and why without any communication. Communicate, communicate, communicate! This can save you and your partner time and continue the growth in your relationship.
2. Happy couples don’t argue.
It is very unlikely that you and your partner will agree on things 100 percent of the time. With this said, arguments are a natural part of a relationship. It is not if you and your partner argue that leads to a satisfying and happy relationship, it is how you argue. Couples who report high satisfaction in their relationship are those who have done the work in learning how to argue effectively. These tools can be anything from taking breaks when they feel things are escalating quickly or avoiding hurtful language towards one another.
3. We need to have sex _____ every month in order for us to be in a healthy relationship.
Couples typically ask me how many times a sexually healthy couple should have sex. My answer is always the same. There is so much variation in the frequency of sex for couples who report having a healthy sex life. What makes a couple sexually satisfied is all dependent on what works for them. There really isn’t a magic number that will indicate that. If what you are doing is working for you both then continue doing it!