As the new year rolls in, many of us find ourselves making the same old resolutions: exercise more, eat healthier, spend more time with family, save money, etc. Another common one is for people to say they want to work on having a healthier or more satisfying relationship. This often includes issues in the bedroom. Below are 7 resolutions you can make to help guide you to a more successful sex life with your significant other.
- Explore yourself more. By this I mean both physically and emotionally. Explore the way you like to be touched, the way you want to be approached. Explore what turns you on, what makes you feel loved and desired. This is ongoing and can change.
- Explore your partner more. Again, both physically and emotionally. Explore how your partner likes to be touched, kissed, approached. What turns them on? What makes them feels loved and desired?
- Talk about what you learned with your partner. Next, have a conversation at some point about what you learned. Continue to have these conversations as you discover new things about yourself and each other. In this way, commit to having open and honest communication about your needs, sexually and emotionally.
- Tell your partner about at least 3 fantasies you have. I know this may be an intimidating conversation to have, but it can also be a very fun and exciting conversation to have. You may even find that you and your partner might share a fantasy.
- Flirt with your partner more. I have noticed with many of the couples that come into my office, as well as amongst my friends and family, that as time goes on, flirting seems to be something of the past. When was the last time you sent a flirty or sexy text too your partner? When was the last time you playfully swatted them on the buttocks or nibbled on their neck from behind?
- Don’t be afraid to be silly in the bedroom. Sex can be scary. It is an activity that makes one feel incredibly vulnerable. People often take themselves too seriously behind closed doors and concentrate too much on reaching orgasm instead of enjoying the journey. It is okay to tease each other and laugh with one another, before, during, and after sex. Be playful.
- Seek out therapy. Most importantly seek out couples or individual therapy to further guide you to having a better sexual relationship.
If you have any further questions about this topic or to schedule a session with one of our clinicians, please CONTACT US.
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