I came across the following fun fact this week: “The typical cloud may look nice and fluffy, but, in reality, it weighs 1.1 million pounds.” It got me thinking about the happiest relationships I have known. These partners are the ones that consistently do “the work” for their relationships. While their relationships may look fun and “light”, they have done and continue to do the “heavy-lifting” for the sake of their relationship’s health.
These partners base their own contributions on what they feel will add to the relationships satisfaction. They do not concern themselves with how much or how little their partner is contributing and then contribute accordingly. “Light” relationships experience ease because each person “works” based on what they see the relationship needs. What if your professional job duties were solely determined by what the others in your office did or did not do on any given day? You would waste precious time and energy just on trying to figure out where you were needed. It is the same in relationships. Discuss your “job expectations” frequently with your partner and act accordingly until further notice.
If you find that you are constantly getting mixed messages about what you are expected to do in your relationship, or if you find it difficult to not think in a tit-for-tat manner, we can help.
If you have any further questions about this topic or to schedule a session with one of our clinicians, please CONTACT US.
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